When my husband John got home from work yesterday at 10 pm, I asked him if he could take our dog Jessie out for her last pee. They seemed gone an awfully long time. Jessie usually goes quickly on our front lawn and high tails it back inside to pack it in for the night.
When they finally came back in, John looked crushed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked alarmed.
While John was outside with Jessie, a woman approached on the sidewalk, a small frail collie at the end of a leash. They struck up a polite conversation, and the woman shared that her Jasper was being put down the very next day. This was Jasper’s last walk.
As John looked adoringly at Jessie, who is the most wonderful family dog in the world, I saw tears in his eyes. Jessie is turning nine this year, and she is starting to struggle. She had surgery on her “good” leg six months ago, and has difficulty hoisting her 70-pound weight from lying to standing. She used to jump effortlessly onto our bed; now she puts her shaggy chin at the edge of it and pleads with her beautiful brown eyes for someone to lift her up.
It is almost criminal how these creatures worm their way into our hearts.
At the time of Jessie’s surgery it was not lost on me that she receives better health care than the majority of people on the planet. She was carefully assessed, x-rayed, and operated on by the best veterinary surgeon, and then received excellent private follow-up care. All of this cost several thousands of dollars.
I did not think twice about spending the money. Jessie is my girl, my canine daughter, my cubicle-mate and my confidante.
But after reading a piece in the New York Times recently, John and I began to grapple with the ethics of directing so much money to an animal. The story profiled a brilliant philosophy student (a student of Peter Singer’s at Princeton no less) who veered away from academia to become a Wall Street trader. He took a high paying job so he could contribute significantly to charity. In 2013, he donated more than $100,000 primarily to the Against Malaria Foundation, which saves a child’s life for just a few thousand dollars.
A few thousand dollars to save a child’s life? Jessie will likely need future surgery, as there is a 60-80% chance her “bad” leg will eventually give out. It will cost at least a few thousand dollars. I know we will pay it. But it’s too depressing to do the math on how many lives the money spent on Jessie’s surgeries could save.
Last year my older son who attends university out of town called me to say that he and his roommates were thinking of adopting a dog from the pound. Now, I try not to be a Debbie Downer with my kids, I really do, but this seemed like an insane idea.
In my most supportive Mom voice I said, “Jake, pets cost a lot of money. Jessie’s dog food alone is $40 a month and vet bills could easily add up to more than you earn all summer.”
But one of Jake’s roommates is from a farming family. He is a hunter who owns a gun.“ Phil would just shoot the dog if he became lame,” Jake countered. “That’s what they do on the farm.”
“Yes, Jake. But you didn’t grow up on a farm. You grew up in Riverdale where people love their dogs more than their kids. We both know you would be asking for my credit card to bail you out.”
I know myself well enough to know that I would not deny Jake the cash to save a canine member of his family. I couldn’t make a rational decision like Phil, even though intellectually I know I would rather save a child’s life than a dog’s.
Do you also have the best family dog in the world? How do you wrestle with these moral dilemmas?
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eden baylee
Apr 23, 2015 -
Sue! A very thoughtful piece.
As someone who does not have pets or children, my response is part meditation, part speculation, and probably more life experience than anything.
I think the question you pose in the title of your blog is a valid one, but with a slight caveat … that both the child and dog must belong to you. If that were the case, I think it would make the answer clear for most people.
I believe that with attachment, the ability to let go is obviously that much stronger. One can have complete empathy for a child’s life but not give up their pet’s life in exchange for it. Why? Because the child belongs to someone else. There is no attachment, no history or memory that tugs at you. Though inherently most of us probably value human lives over animals’ lives, many experience greater love from their pets as you say, so they would do everything they could to save them. And why not? Especially if they have the means.
I don’t believe your choice to spend money on Jessie takes away from the life of a child at all. Instead, what it shows me is you have a huge capacity to love.
Maybe I’m the pragmatist like Phil in your article. Given that we have a limited pool of funds, when we take care of our families – children, pets, parents, we do our best by not adding to the overall burden on society.
Hopefully, what we have left over is where we choose to make a difference to others.
eden
Sue Nador
Apr 24, 2015 -
Thank Eden for such a generous response. It is hard to care about an “anonymous” child, relative to a “real” pet. And in a perfect world, we would have the means to do both, as you say. I consider myself a really pragmatic person too, but Jessie is such a gentle and beautiful creature that it is next to impossible to make rational decisions. xo
SadintheCtiy
Apr 23, 2015 -
As someone who has an unhealthy obsession with her pets, I have never thought of the money I spend on them in these terms. I can’t think past how much I love them as true members of my family. What a thoughtful, interesting piece. As my cat is getting dangerously close to the end, I can scarcely enjoy this time with her as I am so worried about when she is gone.
Sue Nador
Apr 24, 2015 -
Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I also feel a knot in my stomach when I think about Jessie’s age and the life span of a dog as big as her. But she has a pretty good life. And I imagine your cat lucked out too on the domestic front! Let’s enjoy them one day at a time! xo
Alexandria Constantinova
Apr 24, 2015 -
A hard one. But our pets — all Rescues — are our children. We made a commitment when we saved them, just as we would have to a child had we adopted one (but we feared we were too old when we met to adopt a child). Each of us has to make his own decisions. Many children are abused and never escape their biological families’ homes: who saves them? Many animals are abused to death or abandoned? Who saves them? A very difficult moral decision for anyone who loves children and animals.
Sue Nador
Apr 24, 2015 -
Thank you Alexandria! You are making me thing even more! Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond!