I Just Ate My Words

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I just had a flashback to when Jake was in Grade 10, six years ago.

He asked me to read an essay that was due within the next couple of hours. Jake was the type of student who never suffered from writer’s block. He could whip up a major essay in a matter of minutes. And it showed.

It used to drive me beyond insanity, his last-minute requests to give him feedback on his work. I constantly admonished him for starting an essay too late, and not leaving himself enough time to incorporate my invaluable feedback that would undoubtedly elevate his inferior writing into a passing grade.

One day, I lost it. After reading his essay, I sighed in exasperation, “Jake, I have no idea what you are trying to say.” Jake, who was born with the confidence of an entire army, looked at me in a benevolent way and said, “Mom, just because you don’t understand…” I snapped, “Jake, trust me, if I don’t understand—and you need to remember I write for a living—it’s because it doesn’t make sense.”

So, here we are six years later.  Jake went on to university, and is graduating next week.

Jake sent us his honours thesis yesterday, the culmination of his degree in Early Modern Studies. His thesis is titled, “The Baroque and Its Fold: Deleuze-Leibniz and aesthetic implication.” (Note that “pli” is italicized because it means “fold” in French.) The following passage is from Chapter 1.

“The overall aesthetic motif of folding has several faces, ranging from its allegorical character to its more technical, artistic mode. These, however, unlike the traditional Baroque categories, which are now to be reinvented as particular expressions of the universal fold, are two definitions of the complete category itself.”

Here we go again. I mean it “sounds” great, but WTF does it mean. Is this yet another example of bullshit baffles brains? Has my eldest spent too much time at the pub, and not enough in the library these past four years? Obviously, if I can’t understand his thesis, it must mean it doesn’t make sense, right?

Here is an excerpt of a long letter that Jake’s thesis evaluation committee wrote to him, after his oral defence:

“Your thesis is an audacious and precise examination of Deleuze’s interpretation of Leibiniz, that focuses on his concept of the fold, and applies it to a panoply of works from the Baroque and Mannerist periods in art history…Your writing is elegant, persuasive, and enlivened with flashes of wit and style…”

And his grade? A+

I guess it’s time for me to eat my words. I “fold.”

Photo credit: Michelle Johnstone

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