Seeking Your Better Half In A Business “Marriage”? Four Questions To Ask Yourself

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On a crisp winter morning, on the 68th floor of First Canadian Place, eight of us meet to discuss considerations in selecting a business partner.

Are you looking for “the one” in a business marriage? Here are snippets of our conversation.

Why do I want a partner?

“Getting to the why of partnership is critical”, says Brent Wagner (Partner, BMO Nesbitt Burns). “I’m not sure even my wife and I have had enough of a conversation about this”, he chuckles.

Glain Roberts-McCabe (President, The Executive Roundtable) agrees, “You need to ask whether you really need a partner or if it’s better to hire someone with the expertise. I love working in a team, but am I cut out to be a partner given my independence and need to call the shots?”

Paul Pittman (Founder, The Human Well) ran the Human Capital practices at Andersen and Deloitte before starting “a nimble skunk works alternative to big consulting” where he eschews “marriage” in favour of associate arrangements. “We are a bunch of folks who enjoy working with each other. “

Figuring out your “why” is important, as well as your potential partner’s. One participant recalled, “My prospective partner was in a different life stage. She had a shorter horizon, wanting to recoup her investment in the business earlier than me. This was a major disconnect.”

Can this person “complete me”?

Tony Sevsek (Investment executive) observes, “Bay Street is a relatively small street and you often get a “herd” mentality. The world is changing fast, and yesterday’s technology is not necessarily tomorrow’s winner. You need to clearly define the value proposition of the business and a partner who allows you to be more competitive and also does a good job complimenting your skill-set.”

Sam Hurwitz (Chief Encouragement Officer, FliPskills) is married to her business partner. “We have learned to use the male-female dynamic to our advantage.” But rather than take on stereotypical gender roles, she notes, “ In a great partnership, partners take on the role of both leaders and followers. It’s dynamic leadership, with not just one person taking the lead.”

Sevsek continues, “I realized later in my career (when I was Managing Director and VP at investment firms) that women often made better sales people and provided more accurate forecasts in an analyst role. It’s not true that women are more risk-averse, but they are better at assessing risk.” Wagner agrees, “There is something to be said about women’s intuition, a sixth sense about people and business deals.”

Asif Nasim (Principal, Wickware) chose his business partner because “he was a brilliant copywriter who had also written 500 songs. He was in marketing and I was in sales. We met over the course of a year, had many dinners, and then decided that it made sense to become partners. But we realize there are limitations to what a partner can give you. You need to take care of yourself and the other person needs to take care of their needs too, so you can come together better. This holds true in business and in marriage.”

Does it feel right in my gut?

One participant invested significant time exploring a potential partnership, before deciding against it. “Like many entrepreneurs, I am optimistic so think everything can be worked out. I ignored red flags. You can talk yourself into lots of things.”

Roberts-McCabe says, “I’m a big believer in going beyond gut and getting to core motivators through formal assessments. But even with assessments, you can still hire the wrong people. “People can do and say the right things for a while but sooner or later bad behaviours show through…eventually they leave the proverbial toilet seat up.”

Pittman asserts, “I believe in gut. When you research the hell out of a person, you are not trusting yourself.” Sevsek concurs, “ When I did more due diligence rather than relying on, or going against my gut feel, I often made worse decisions.”

Robert-McCabe offered some advice, “Ask for many references at the start before you fall in love with the person. Later on, you may not want to see the red flags.”

Is a “pre-nup” important?

Rick Wolfe (President, PostStone) says, “I’ve never written down a formal agreement but in one case we knew each other for ten years before doing business together. We started with a good knowledge of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We keep commitments small, and the absence of a formal contract fosters trust. We always insist the other person get more than half.”

Roberts-McCabe questions the philosophy of a pre-nup. “It’s like going in with the feeling that something can go wrong—like employees who want to negotiate severance before they get hired. It’s driven by fear and risk mitigation.”

Hurwitz says, “As soon as you get lawyers and accountants involved, people tend to abdicate their responsibility for social contracting. It’s often one or the other. It should be both.”

Nasim and his partner decided at the outset, “Let’s make this very simple.” He told his partner, “If I can triple business in a year I’ll stay; if not I’ll leave you with enhanced business opportunities.”

Are considerations in selecting “the one” different in business than in marriage? What do you think?

Photo: Henning Stein, eveosblog.de

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