If I had a million dollars would I buy your love?

I can’t get the line “If I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love” (from the Barenaked Ladies song) out of my head. It reminds me of the rising trend of sugar daddy’s and sugar mommies.

A sugar daddy/mommy is an older, well-established person who provides generous cash and luxury lifestyle benefits to their younger sugar baby. The sugar baby serves as the sugar parent’s eye candy, escort and (at least occasional) sex partner. But the sugar baby is happy to assume these tasks given the alternative of eating Kraft Dinner (not by choice) in a leaky basement apartment.

So, what would I do if I had a million dollars? Would I buy someone’s love?

While I know these sugar parent-sugar baby relationships are a good deal for many (and I’m certainly not the one to question anyone else’s relationship deal), I have a few concerns that would make me personally hesitant:

  • I’m pretty certain my husband would insist on his own sugar baby if I had one. This would certainly put a serious dent in our retirement savings. And let’s be realistic about the fact that I would surely end up like the Barbie dolls of yesteryear that lay untouched at the bottom of the toy bin when the younger cooler Midge came on the scene.
  • Adopting a sugar baby feels a bit too much like eating at McDonalds. A fast-food relationship that may make me feel good at the time (trust me, I have snuck off to McDonalds for their fries on more than one occasion) but leave me feeling empty and guilty later.
  • I worry providing an economic incentive for someone to be with me would harm my sense of self-worth. And if my first sugar baby insisted on a Porsche and dinners at upscale restaurants, would I have to keep upping the ante as I age? Would I have to buy my second sugar baby a luxury condo and give them unlimited use of my Amex card?

Maybe I’m too old-school here but I prefer the Beatles song, “Can’t buy me love”.

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